Having depression sucks.
All those fools out there think it's crying all day. It isnt.
It's not giving a damn about anything.
The wonderful things in life you just KNOW are out there, but really cant feel excited for.
Thanksgiving, Halloween, Friends..I'm so lucky to have these.
So why do I feel so empty and tired?
I'm understimulated at work.
People say: You need a hobby. You need therapy. You need drugs. You need new friends.
I dont 'need' anything. Fundamentally, things do not exist.
There's a deeper truth and meaning to it all.
Halloween was special because I got to dress up and eat a ton of crap.
Thanksgiving was cool cause Mom used to make something good, like cheesecake, back when she did things.
Now, I have no family.
I have friends, and to tell you the truth, Thanksgiving with my family always turned out horribly violent every year.
I just miss being excited for anything.
I miss feeling emotions like a human being.
Its not so bad that I have a roof over my head and food. Those parts are good.
But..Hell...Sometimes, I wish I had some kind of a soul.